I want to start by saying that I am a HUGE fan of my son's teacher. The man has a doctorate in education, yet teaches Kindergarten. He's been such a source of help so far this year, when I thought for sure I was going to have to drug my kid in order for him to graduate high school (Don't we all jump ahead 12 years in our thought processes? No? Just me? Moving on...).
Every week, Vincent has a poem of the week that he has to memorize. This has needed no effort from me other than on Fridays saying "Tell me the poem of the week".
My favorite aspect of the curriculum is the lamest thing. Do I get impressed that my son can now name the letters that most words start with? No. Am I thrilled that he's already memorized some addition facts, sure, but I figured that would come eventually (ha! some of my students don't have this down yet!). No, the most fulfilling part of my son's education thus far has been... the joke of the day. Each day, when they have circle time, after they've gone over the calendar, the teacher has a riddle on the board that he helps them find the punchline to. Some of my favorites so far:
Why did the man throw the peanut butter into the ocean? So it could be with the jellyfish.
What do ghosts eat? Spook-ghetti
What did the good bee say to the bad bee? "bee-hive!"
I know... I need to get out more.
Today as we were telling jokes back and forth, Vincent started to invent his own after I made some up (I'm not posting mine, they're too lame):
What did the pillow say to the fence? "Jump on the helmet!"
As you can see, we have quite some way to go yet before he fine-tunes his sense of humor. It doesn't matter to me, I love that he's developing this aspect of his personality.
Ok, I'll tell you the least offensive joke that makes me fall into a fit of giggles every time:
Two muffins are baking in an oven. Chocolate chip says to blueberry "Don't you think it's getting a little hot in here?" Blueberry says, "Holy crap! a talking muffin!"
Monday, October 13, 2008
Friday, August 08, 2008
Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again
This song, from "Phantom of the Opera" always made my mom bawl after my grandfather died. Of course I missed him. He was an amazing man. My son has his first name. I cried too, but not like my mom. Now I understand her pain. 
My dad died last Saturday. It wasn't a surprise. They had released him from care the Monday before, and the hospice nurse that took care of him should be sainted. I thank God that he wasn't humiliated for long. I thought I was doing great, helping out, cracking jokes, doing what needed to be done. Then I hit the wall. After the funeral on Wednesday, I went into his office and sobbed uncontrollably. I finally understood why my mom wasn't in the mood to celebrate Christmas in 1997, or anything else.
I'm sad for my mom, who has become a widow at a time when they should be traveling and having fun without kids. They loved their grandkids so much, but were limited in time spent with them because my dad was so sick.
I’m sad for my son, who is having the hardest time out of all the grandkids because he knew my dad the longest, and he understands that death is final. I’m sad for my sister’s baby, who will never be able to feel the gentleness of Pop-Pop’s embrace.
I couldn’t believe it, but Tuesday night, after the wake, we were still in the funeral home. I started to get up because we were getting ready to leave, and I actually turned to look for him. This really sucks.
No matter how much time you have, it isn’t enough. I sat by his side for three days before he died, and for countless visits before that, KNOWING that my time with him was limited, KNOWING that I would regret not saying things, or asking questions, or talking at all, but I couldn’t think of anything. My brain was a total blank. He had left nothing to question. My dad, the master planner, had typed up 20 pages of instructions for what to do when he died. He needed to know that we were all set. I knew he loved me because he let me take care of him. At least I have the peace that he knew I loved him.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
A Day in the Life of an Embryo
Ok, I really need to know... are ultrasound pictures cute, or horrifying? I love them, if I could have, I would have pulled a Tom Cruise and taken a peek at my little suckers every day while I was pregnant (no, I didn't send them to people or show them to anyone unless they asked. Yes, I carried them in my wallet so I could look at them). I stuck with the black and white 2-D version because the squished babies in the 3-D version freak me out.
My sister can't get past the fact that you're looking into someone's uterus and is completely grossed out by them. My friend was annoyed because she had a few every couple months and she didn't think they were necessary. Opinions, please!!
My sister can't get past the fact that you're looking into someone's uterus and is completely grossed out by them. My friend was annoyed because she had a few every couple months and she didn't think they were necessary. Opinions, please!!
Wow...
I know, mesmerizing title, right? Oh, well... Nobody reads this anyway.
Summer's going along. Love that I've been student-free for three weeks now! No parent complaints, no stupid administrators (ok, just one of them sucked. The other two are pretty cool). No papers to grade, you name something that sucks about teaching, and I don't miss it!! Ok, some of my students were pretty cool, and I love getting a good parent that works with me rather than thinking I'm out to get their child. The rest of them can go scratch.
What have I been doing so far, you ask? Well, it started out less than fantastic. My dad's cancer has advanced to the point where the doctors can't do anything else for him. It really sucks. I was never a daddy's girl, neither was my sister. My dad had it kind of rough growing up, and he really tried hard not to let that influence how he raised us. We got beatings, my older brother and I more than the younger two, but I'm not any worse for the wear now, and it was all disciplinary, never 'just because'. Now that I'm older, he's definitely more gentle, and we have a companionship that I can't explain. He gave me my love for the Giants, the Yankees, and all things being logical. I'm sure his life as an accountant somehow translated to me being a Math teacher. We're good now, and we tell each other all the time that we love each other, I just don't know how much longer he has. I'm fortunate that I know it's coming and I can prepare for it with no regrets. It's just frustrating watching him do really well, then not well.
Uplifting, right? Here's news: my sister's knocked up!! That's right! 19 months of trying and I'm going to be an aunt!!
Other than that, I've been trying to have as much fun with the kids as possible. I want them to have a great summer. We were down the shore today for the first time, and both kids are so tired! We camped out in the backyard, and will go to Maine later this summer.
God this post sucks. Sorry it's so boring. I'll post again when I feel properly entertaining
Summer's going along. Love that I've been student-free for three weeks now! No parent complaints, no stupid administrators (ok, just one of them sucked. The other two are pretty cool). No papers to grade, you name something that sucks about teaching, and I don't miss it!! Ok, some of my students were pretty cool, and I love getting a good parent that works with me rather than thinking I'm out to get their child. The rest of them can go scratch.
What have I been doing so far, you ask? Well, it started out less than fantastic. My dad's cancer has advanced to the point where the doctors can't do anything else for him. It really sucks. I was never a daddy's girl, neither was my sister. My dad had it kind of rough growing up, and he really tried hard not to let that influence how he raised us. We got beatings, my older brother and I more than the younger two, but I'm not any worse for the wear now, and it was all disciplinary, never 'just because'. Now that I'm older, he's definitely more gentle, and we have a companionship that I can't explain. He gave me my love for the Giants, the Yankees, and all things being logical. I'm sure his life as an accountant somehow translated to me being a Math teacher. We're good now, and we tell each other all the time that we love each other, I just don't know how much longer he has. I'm fortunate that I know it's coming and I can prepare for it with no regrets. It's just frustrating watching him do really well, then not well.
Uplifting, right? Here's news: my sister's knocked up!! That's right! 19 months of trying and I'm going to be an aunt!!
Other than that, I've been trying to have as much fun with the kids as possible. I want them to have a great summer. We were down the shore today for the first time, and both kids are so tired! We camped out in the backyard, and will go to Maine later this summer.
God this post sucks. Sorry it's so boring. I'll post again when I feel properly entertaining
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Randomness
See Mrs. L.? I was listening... She was my 5/6th grade English teacher. Back before English became smooshed with Reading, and now they're called "Language Arts" "Language Arts/Literacy", "English Language Arts", or whatever will improve the kids' test scores... Anyway, titles were always hard for me to come up with because I would always try to think of them before I wrote. She was the one who told us not to write the title until the writing was over, and then it would come to you. I just realized that I have never learned that lesson until just now, when I was trying to come up with a title for this post. She reminded me... I'll wait. If the title sucks, well, that's why I teach Math.
Testing season is here. It's ridiculous. I can't tell if the bullsh!t we're going through is because my administrators are paranoid beyond belief, or if the 'state' is really that interested in micromanaging. This week, it's the 7th and 8th graders turn. In the mean time, I'm getting kicked out of my classroom so they can all test in an isolated area of the building. Next week, it's our turn, and I get to stand for 4 hours straight. Staring. Certainly NOT looking at the test. Maybe the clock. Can you sleep with your eyes open? Some of us were wondering why our i pods can't have wireless earbuds, like those annoying bluetooth things you see everyone wearing while they're shopping, talking into it like they can't be unavailable for 2 seconds while they run into the food store to pick up tampons. Seriously. Don't call me while shopping for hygiene products. Anyway, if there are any inventors out there, the teachers of America would probably pay almost anything to be able to listen to a little tune or three while watching their students throw 9 months of education down the chute.
Speaking of i pods, my poor husband is devastated. I bought him one for Christmas. The one that will hold about 40,000 songs, because he is THAT into music. He's spent almost every night for the past 4 months loading songs. He plugged it in tonight, did everything he was supposed to do, and all the songs are gone. He had over 3000 on there. Why not just reload the songs from our itunes? Because if we load more than 100 songs (figuratively, I don't have the exact number), our computer freaks out.
Getting ready for Vincent's 5th birthday extravaganza. This Saturday is the family party. Here. Then Wednesday is all the festivities at his school. Next Saturday is the kids' party. I should have just paid to have it somewhere, but it's here. I was at least smart enough to only invite 6 kids, but some are bringing siblings. Wish me luck! Or whatever, but post a comment, so I can see if anyone's actually reading this thing.
Testing season is here. It's ridiculous. I can't tell if the bullsh!t we're going through is because my administrators are paranoid beyond belief, or if the 'state' is really that interested in micromanaging. This week, it's the 7th and 8th graders turn. In the mean time, I'm getting kicked out of my classroom so they can all test in an isolated area of the building. Next week, it's our turn, and I get to stand for 4 hours straight. Staring. Certainly NOT looking at the test. Maybe the clock. Can you sleep with your eyes open? Some of us were wondering why our i pods can't have wireless earbuds, like those annoying bluetooth things you see everyone wearing while they're shopping, talking into it like they can't be unavailable for 2 seconds while they run into the food store to pick up tampons. Seriously. Don't call me while shopping for hygiene products. Anyway, if there are any inventors out there, the teachers of America would probably pay almost anything to be able to listen to a little tune or three while watching their students throw 9 months of education down the chute.
Speaking of i pods, my poor husband is devastated. I bought him one for Christmas. The one that will hold about 40,000 songs, because he is THAT into music. He's spent almost every night for the past 4 months loading songs. He plugged it in tonight, did everything he was supposed to do, and all the songs are gone. He had over 3000 on there. Why not just reload the songs from our itunes? Because if we load more than 100 songs (figuratively, I don't have the exact number), our computer freaks out.
Getting ready for Vincent's 5th birthday extravaganza. This Saturday is the family party. Here. Then Wednesday is all the festivities at his school. Next Saturday is the kids' party. I should have just paid to have it somewhere, but it's here. I was at least smart enough to only invite 6 kids, but some are bringing siblings. Wish me luck! Or whatever, but post a comment, so I can see if anyone's actually reading this thing.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Baseball Season is Here!!
Go Yankees! I'll thank God personally for holding the deluge off until the game was over. My husband was at the home opener yesterday, and after taking valuable time off from work to go, the game was called off and rescheduled for tonight. So, off he went again today. This is the third day in a row that It's been just me and the kids. Sunday was fine, I actually managed to run some errands and conquer the food shopping with both kids in tow. Usually I'm too much of a coward to do this, but both kids were really good. For being one and almost-five.
Needless to say, I was not looking forward to another evening of me vs. the children. Luckily, my cousin swooped in and saved me and we spent the evening at her house. Not getting papers graded, that's for sure, but I don't care. I also don't care that the marking period ends in less than two weeks. I've got such summer fever, I don't think it's ever been this bad. I'm so excited to have baseball back. I love the fact that there's always a game to have on. This could be the Yankees year!
Weather-wise, Holy Mackerel! We just got a huge downpour! The wind was so fierce, I thought I could almost make out the flying monkeys in the distance. Today's temp was perfect!
Time to go check Celebrity Baby Blog...
Needless to say, I was not looking forward to another evening of me vs. the children. Luckily, my cousin swooped in and saved me and we spent the evening at her house. Not getting papers graded, that's for sure, but I don't care. I also don't care that the marking period ends in less than two weeks. I've got such summer fever, I don't think it's ever been this bad. I'm so excited to have baseball back. I love the fact that there's always a game to have on. This could be the Yankees year!
Weather-wise, Holy Mackerel! We just got a huge downpour! The wind was so fierce, I thought I could almost make out the flying monkeys in the distance. Today's temp was perfect!
Time to go check Celebrity Baby Blog...
Friday, February 22, 2008
Snow Days just ain't what they used to be
Vincent at 6am: Can we go outside and play in the snow????
Me: Later
V: When?
M (looking on Noggin's shows): We'll go outside when Oswald comes on
Julia: (unspellable noise similar to that of a screaming banshee, I think she wants food)
V: Can we go outside and play in the snow??
Raynebow: REOOOOOOOOOOOOWR!!!
J: (still screaming, not touching food, so I take her to change her)
R: REOOOOOOOOOOOOOWR!!
V: Why can't we go outside and play in the snow now?
Me: Because it's not time yet (going to the mini chopper to grind princess raynebow's broiled chicken)
R: REOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWR!!
Vincent: What are you doing?
Me: Making Raynebow's food
J: UH! (wants to be picked up, so I do, while grinding the chicken, putting some in Raynebow's bowl to shut her up, then going back to the mini grinder to finish the rest, put Julia down to put cat food in the fridge, and Julia promptly begins to take the pork roll out of the door rack, box by box. I remove the last box from her hand, put the rest back, and close the door. Julia responds by resuming the banshee wail. I put her in the crib for a nap and start to make my breakfast)
Vincent: Mom? Why can't we go outside now? Pinky Dinky Do is boring! I don't want to watch it. (browse other kid channels, Disney is showing My Friends Tigger and Pooh, which won't fly, so I put on Sprout, which is showing Sesame Street)
Julia: (banshee wail in crib)
Vincent: I don't want to watch Sesame Street (goes into fridge, takes out string cheese) Can I have some cheese?
Me: What's the rule?
Julia: (banshee wail in crib intermittent)
V: Ask before you take
Me: put it back
V: But I want something to eat!!
Me: put it back
V: (eyeing my breakfast) What's that?
Julia: (lower banshee wail)
Me: An English Muffin
V: Can I have one?
Me: Sure, I have to put it in the toaster
V: Mom, when we come in from playing in the snow, are we going to have hot chocolate?
M: yes
V: Where is the hot chocolate?
M: put away (has it been a few minutes since Julia's cried?? oh, there it is!)
V: but we're going to have some, right?
M: yes
V: Is my english muffin ready yet?
M: I'm getting it now
V: Are you going to put butter on it?
M: That's what I'm doing right now
::::silence while the boy child consumes his english muffin, I think Julia's asleep, and the cat is fed, I am able to finish breakfast and the paper, skipping to the cartoons:::::::::::
Vincent: Why can't we go outside yet? What's on next? What's on after LazyTown? (Stephanie's porn movie, dear) What's on after Jack's Big Music Show? (Oswald) And then we can go outside?.....
Ernie (upon reading this email): We have English Muffins??
Me: Later
V: When?
M (looking on Noggin's shows): We'll go outside when Oswald comes on
Julia: (unspellable noise similar to that of a screaming banshee, I think she wants food)
V: Can we go outside and play in the snow??
Raynebow: REOOOOOOOOOOOOWR!!!
J: (still screaming, not touching food, so I take her to change her)
R: REOOOOOOOOOOOOOWR!!
V: Why can't we go outside and play in the snow now?
Me: Because it's not time yet (going to the mini chopper to grind princess raynebow's broiled chicken)
R: REOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWR!!
Vincent: What are you doing?
Me: Making Raynebow's food
J: UH! (wants to be picked up, so I do, while grinding the chicken, putting some in Raynebow's bowl to shut her up, then going back to the mini grinder to finish the rest, put Julia down to put cat food in the fridge, and Julia promptly begins to take the pork roll out of the door rack, box by box. I remove the last box from her hand, put the rest back, and close the door. Julia responds by resuming the banshee wail. I put her in the crib for a nap and start to make my breakfast)
Vincent: Mom? Why can't we go outside now? Pinky Dinky Do is boring! I don't want to watch it. (browse other kid channels, Disney is showing My Friends Tigger and Pooh, which won't fly, so I put on Sprout, which is showing Sesame Street)
Julia: (banshee wail in crib)
Vincent: I don't want to watch Sesame Street (goes into fridge, takes out string cheese) Can I have some cheese?
Me: What's the rule?
Julia: (banshee wail in crib intermittent)
V: Ask before you take
Me: put it back
V: But I want something to eat!!
Me: put it back
V: (eyeing my breakfast) What's that?
Julia: (lower banshee wail)
Me: An English Muffin
V: Can I have one?
Me: Sure, I have to put it in the toaster
V: Mom, when we come in from playing in the snow, are we going to have hot chocolate?
M: yes
V: Where is the hot chocolate?
M: put away (has it been a few minutes since Julia's cried?? oh, there it is!)
V: but we're going to have some, right?
M: yes
V: Is my english muffin ready yet?
M: I'm getting it now
V: Are you going to put butter on it?
M: That's what I'm doing right now
::::silence while the boy child consumes his english muffin, I think Julia's asleep, and the cat is fed, I am able to finish breakfast and the paper, skipping to the cartoons:::::::::::
Vincent: Why can't we go outside yet? What's on next? What's on after LazyTown? (Stephanie's porn movie, dear) What's on after Jack's Big Music Show? (Oswald) And then we can go outside?.....
Ernie (upon reading this email): We have English Muffins??
Sunday, January 20, 2008
How Much Longer?
Every year after Christmas, I get Spring Fever. I know I'm not the only one because I Burpee and Land's End are sending me catalogs for seeds and kids' summer clothes. I don't know what to do about this. I have two more marking periods to get through, and the students are getting lazier. So many things I should be doing right now, and I'm dreaming of summer... days at the pool, visits to the shore, long days that don't end until 9 pm, carnivals every week... ergh, I can't wait.
Snap back to reality... we survived Christmas pretty well. Vincent was INSANE, and it's like someone flipped a switch on December 26th. He transformed into this calmer version of himself. Not that he is without challenges. His favorite words right now are "No", "But..." and "Why?". You would think I'm talking about a 2 year old! Not someone who's going to be 5 soon!! He should be a lawyer, the way he argues with me about everything!
Julia has discovered the wonder of climbing, and most of the time can climb herself back down from wherever she's gotten herself. Still won't say "Momma", or anything like it, unless she's pissed. That probably doesn't mean anything, right?
Snap back to reality... we survived Christmas pretty well. Vincent was INSANE, and it's like someone flipped a switch on December 26th. He transformed into this calmer version of himself. Not that he is without challenges. His favorite words right now are "No", "But..." and "Why?". You would think I'm talking about a 2 year old! Not someone who's going to be 5 soon!! He should be a lawyer, the way he argues with me about everything!
Julia has discovered the wonder of climbing, and most of the time can climb herself back down from wherever she's gotten herself. Still won't say "Momma", or anything like it, unless she's pissed. That probably doesn't mean anything, right?
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